"Why is this happening?" she would wonder. She could think of several things to blame for the departure from her duties. First of all, she had been traveling a lot these past few months, and because it was too much of a hassle, she had decided not to bring her trusty laptop along. Secondly, when she did find the time to settle down in front of her luminescent computer screen, completing other tedious tasks, like balancing financial accounts, applying for jobs and keeping up with Facebook (shameful, but true) would take precedent. Finally, Bavarian weather (despite today) had been gorgeous the past couple of weeks. And she had a bike. And an iPod. And she lived approximately two minutes away from Munich's English Garden. This particular girl also loved to be outside... almost as much as she loved to write.
"This has to stop!" she said to herself. "If I am going to be a writer, which is what I know I want to do, then I have to concentrate on bettering myself and I must stay focused!"
The girl paced back and forth in her room, pondering her situation much harder than she had before. The realization that it was almost May, and that she only had about THREE months left in this beloved city, had really started to sink in... and this weighed on her more than anything. She couldn't see a solution on how she could stay. It was hard enough for a German citizen to find a job in the current economic climate, so an American (who is technically near the bottom of the job-finding food chain, following all of the EU citizens who didn't have to find a job that would also sponsor a visa), would have even tougher luck. And she had been trying. Conflicted between acquiring a job just to stay in Germany or finding one that would help her career back home, the girl was utterly confused. What did she really want. And how was she going to get it.
That night, whilst asleep in her bed, the girl found her answer. Eyelids fluttering and breath slowing, her mind started to churn out the answers for which she was looking.
"You are the kind of person that can be happy in a number of places," the voice inside her mind said. "Your life has been blessed and it will continue to be."
"You can only do what you can do," it continued. "You will always have regrets. You will always make mistakes. But this is how you learn. This is how you grow. There is nothing else you can do but keep trying and see where life will take you next."
When she woke up, the girl realized that this was the attitude she had lost. Instead of counting the days before getting on a plane and departing this city she loves, not knowing when or if she'll come back, she should just be grateful for every single day that she got to experience this. How many people get to live in Germany for a year, on a Fulbright grant, basically just being able to discover themselves and find out what they want out of life?
"You're not quite there yet..." she thought.
But she was on her way...
She had so many things to be thankful for already in this life: her family, her friends, her mother's calm advice and words of wisdom, the opportunities given to her, all of the things she'd been able to experience.
The time she had spent in Munich thus far had been absolutely wonderful, albeit nothing like she thought it would be. This city had given her a new outlook on international culture, new understanding to how and why people in other countries lived their lives and it had acted as a gateway to exploring other new and exciting places. It had also introduced her to people she knows will be life-long friends, and helped her make what she knows will be very useful contacts in the future.
No, she probably won't be leaving Munich with a job offer to return a few months later and work for a German newspaper/magazine. She probably won't stay and teach English at a school. She probably won't be able to come back to this magical city for quite some time.
But hey, life hasn't really led me astray as of yet, and I have faith in where it will take me this time. And I can't wait to see what it has in store.
Everything happens for a reason.
No comments:
Post a Comment