Aktualisierung (For lack of a better title)

Hello, hello.

So I have noticed that a few things have gone awry with my photos below, and I just caught this now. (It didn't look like this when I posted it), but I will have it corrected as soon as I get home. My computer at work does not seem to like blogger very much, and I can't fix things here because the page doesn't load correctly and what not. I also can't post links or photos here, or spellcheck. So pretty much all I can do at work is write my thoughts down and then wait 'til I get home to post.

Laaa dee daaa.

Don't know why I am explaining this really. I apologize.

However, I do plan to scan (rhymes!) and post my article about Lady GaGa, so that I have the finished product on here, and then I have also been working on translations from interviews done with Noam Chomsky, (I translated them from German into English), and I will post those on here as well. Got to keep up on the work side. Immer.

But now, a talk about life. My plans (as I have said over and over), have been to write every day. I am so horribly bad at this, hey? I don't know what it's going to take for me to stick to my goals. I get really frustrated with myself because I have so many plans in bettering myself as a person and therefore having a more worthwhile experience over here in Munich, but I am still stuck in this awful Americanized-habit of having to be constantly entertained, mostly by broadcast mediums. What I am trying to say is, I am living in this wonderful city, that I will only be in until July (most likely) and I still can't wait to see what is going to happen on the next episode of Lost.

Booooo, who cares (well, I do)... but why??? ARGH why can't I get out of that stupid rut. What is it going to take? I know exactly what is going to happen. I am going to keep living like I have been, and when the time comes to leave Munich I will never stop feeling like I wasted my time. How do I get myself REALLY motivated to accomplish the goals I have set for myself? I think I should shut down my computer and never turn it back on. The Internet, and everything that comes with it, is a wonderful thing, but it's also HORRIBLE at the same time. I remember being young and in elementary school and we had the GIANT computers with the floopy disks that you had to carry oh-so-carefully over the carpet so as not to trigger a jolt of static electricity that would wipe your disk clean of data. The Internet wasn't even around then. And alas: the world still functioned.

Blah blah blah, you've heard it all before, but see that's just the thing. What good is all of this technology doing us, really? Sure we can listen to any song at any given time, contact old friends with the click of a button, order any little thing our hearts desire, but what is all of that doing to us, as humans? (So not trying to sound Kaczynski-ish, I swear...)

When I was young, I never sat still. I was the little girl who was always in her own world, wanting to wear my nice sun dresses and black dress shoes just so I could look nice while climbing up trees. If someone had told me then to sit in front of a computer or a television set for a few hours each day, I would have thought I was being punished. I ached to go outside. To see the world. To experience everything. And yes, that is in a child's nature. Isn't it? Or has their "nature" now become which level they can get to in a video game?

Ugh I hate that! I really hate that. That is what is happening too. The unseen dangers of technology... and I can't really say anything against it (too late) because I am a participant in it all. I check Facebook and Gmail religiously, I know all the best Websites for streaming television shows online in addtion to all of the ones that find the best music.

When will I wake up and have that uncontrollable urge to go climb a tree?

That's the thing. I am afraid I will never get that feeling back again; scared to death that (some of, it's not like I lock myself in my room all day and never go outside, go to a museum or meet with friends, I'm just saying that should be how I spend all of my free time, not some) my happiness now comes from the fake realities of the characters within the "magic box."

No no no, I will not let this happen. Oh and how CLICHE it is, but we have this one life, and I am currently wasting mine. How trite and hypocritical it is... but isn't it funny that in writing on my blog ONLINE, I come to realize what is going on in my mind and thus I am better equipped to discovering what I want and how to get there?

Yes. But I say these things to myself daily. How to get that determination, that movitation, that child-like wonder back? Hmmm...

It's snowing outside.

I think I will go for a walk...